This week has been paleo-rific! As you may have noticed, we have not been blogging everyday. We are now going into once-a-week-blog-mode. We thought it would be important to log our experiences as we went through the fasting, but now that we are into week two, we don't see a purpose of blogging our every step, thought and bowel movement. Sorry guys, I know you're all heart broken!
So this week has definitely been fabulous. We are both feeling wonderful! We have gone completely paleo while still juicing, and it has been great.
Today I want to blog about something none of us wants to think about- accountability.
We love to point fingers and place blame on others. Failed a test? It was unfair, and the professor didn't teach the material well enough! Miss a doctors appointment? They didn't call me and remind me! Overweight? McDonald's must have lied! I ate every meal off of their under 400 calories menu!
This, my friends, is called externalization. We take these negative qualities/characteristics we see in ourselves and project them onto others as a defense mechanism. Rather than step up and be accountable for our actions, we find anyone or anything else to blame for our behavior. At times, this is beneficial for us to cope. Lazarus and Folkman (1984) are researchers who study stress and coping, and they explain how maladaptive coping (coping in a way that is ultimately going to bring more stress into your life) is, in the moment, an adaptive defense. However, over time, projecting blame onto others will ultimately increase our stress and won't necessarily solve our problems. So what to do?
Well, first you must be accountable for where you are at, and consider how your choices have impacted your health and well-being. This process will be different for everyone- we all have our own stuff to own up to. I am not encouraging you to feel shameful (a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior). I would much rather you find motivation from guilt (a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation), than to feel self-hatred from shame. Once you are accountable for where you are in life, you can begin to develop a plan for changing your behaviors and habits.
So what am I going to be accountable for? Well, mainly for my health choices. I definitely have not been accountable for giving my body the proper nutrients it needs, and taking the time to learn about what is healthy/unhealthy. But this week, I have decided to be accountable for the welfare of others. As many of you may know, I am going to school to become a mental health professional and work with disenfranchised populations. One thing I have noticed (and I am sure you have too) is the huge inequality of wealth in our country. Many of us blame the government for not taking care of those who are impoverished, but instead fight wars in other countries. Others may blame those who are poor for "not working hard enough." I mean, isn't this survival of the fittest? Well, I have definitely struggled with this issue myself. This week, I decided it is time to be accountable. While I can't personally make a huge impact, I can at least do something to make a difference. I spent some time looking at the budget I developed for myself, and realized that if I have enough money to budget for Starbucks and beer (both are $25/week... seriously?!) then I definitely have enough money to donate to different charities. So since I will not be using that $25/week for booze (sorry guys, booze ain't paleo!), I have decided to pick a different charity to donate to each week. We live in a country that values freedom, and I see this as the freedom to earn our own money and choose who to give back to. I have food, shelter, and some dogs to snuggle with- I am privileged. It is time for me as a soon-to-be mental health professional, and human being, to step up and be accountable for the welfare of others.
This week, I am donating to Make-A-Wish foundation (I actually used to raise money for them when I was a kid!)
So what will you be accountable for?
Hope that all is well with everyone! Enjoy your weekend!
"Candor and accountability in a democracy are very important. Hypocrisy has no place."
-Alan Dershowitz
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